I open my eyes and stare past the ceiling Wishing I could leave behind what I'm feeling When it feels like today will be a waste Even though I'm only just awake I reach up to the shelf that sits above my head Drawing in the weight of my existence I'm always searching for that missing sense of optimism But it's always blacked out by my tunnel vision Knowing No matter the effort this must come to an end No matter the love, the beauty, the happiness And these days the eager light feels more intrusive Ringing in another day that feels useless And I don't know if I'll ever feel okay No, I can only hope to get there some day