Biography

Did you know there's a 1500 character limit on these things? With that, I present to you: THE COMPILED EXCERPTS OF FAILED ATTEMPTS TO WRITE A SPOTIFY BIO FOR DAVID WIRSIG (ONGOING) Draft #1: David Wirsig blends a novelist's sensibility with sweeping and cinematic soundscape vistas to craft a unique concoction which evokes a sense of... (at this point the author grew bored and slightly nauseated, and minimized the 'Spotify for Artists' tab) Draft #2 From an early age, David exhibited a special affinity for musical creativity. His Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Walquist, noted in his Winter semester report card that she had observed in him a tendency to "bang rhythmically on his desk at inappropriate times" and "play his recorder loudly, unsolicited, during scheduled recesses" Another comment details a particularly taxing 'show and tell', in which David recited a poem that he had written and afterward was so embarrassed that he- (at this point, the author concluded that the anecdote was far too personal for widespread publication, and promptly deleted the text file) Draft #3 How to make the perfect 'David Wirsig' cocktail: 1 oz HP Lovecraft 1 oz John Darnielle 1 oz Craig Finn A splash of vague nostalgia for half-remembered nights Shake Thoroughly, until the blended ingredients are barely recognizable Serve chilled on a bed of reverb and glockenspiel, and garnish with Ben Gibbard's ashes (at this point, the author was thoroughly intoxicated and gave up altogether)