When I was just a little boy
Playing on the ground
My daddy took me near
He said don't you go looking
Looking round for a lady
That kinda trouble you won't find here
Then in strolls the master
The king of the castle
Saying, "Sonny, here's your daddy's beer"
Gliding across the linoleum
Winks at me and pops his gum
All balls and brains and second gear
Now Mister Woo was small
Maybe 4 or 5 feet tall
But a titan of cards
And smoke and alcohol
When in came the call
It was the red phone on the wall
And a sticky situation
For one and all
The voice on the other end
We all could hear she was not a friend
But Stanley winked again and said
"Larry?!
Who's this Larry?
There ain't no Larry here!
Baby don't you worry
You know your man's not running
Just tryna keep his head clear
Larry?
Anybody named Larry?
No
There ain't no Larry here
No my dear
He ain't hidin
An you two ain't fighting'
So try and keep your conscience clear"
Now Larry was a cowboy
Come down from the hill
And some Friday night fever
Was all that he could feel
When in walked the cop
He was standing 6 foot up
And asked if ol' Larry was here
"Larry?!
Who's this Larry?
Oh!
There ain't no Larry here!
Baby don't you worry
You know this man's not running
Just tryna keep his conscience clear
Larry?
Anybody named Larry?
No
There ain't no Larry here
No boy
He ain't hidin
An you two ain't fighting'
So try and keep your conscience clear"