Is that a black widow spider Or a skinny young blonde that he's waiting for Down by the nail salon? And is it blood on his shoulder, a little on his cheek? Told her he'd be home inside a week He said he just needs a little time to clear out his head A few good nights sleepin' on a cheap motel bed In a little town somewhere north of Venice, by the beach Where everyone's a little out of reach Yeah, it's just a portrait of the artist as a middle-aged man Staring blankly at a canvas with his trembling hands Back at home they're hanging tinsel and fighting back the tears No one's singing Christmas songs around here 'Cause here's just some rag mags and menthols In a crumpled shopping bag And he's got the Avis blacked out Camaro keys in his other hand And he looks down at the ocean at the end of the road And he thinks, "I'd rather drown than charge up my phone" Now it's raining in Latigo, and it's slippery on the road She's dialing up another song he doesn't know Some girls quite like country music but that's not so common now Boys, you know what I'm talking about Yeah, it's just a portrait of the driver as a middle-aged man Riding shotgun is a woman that he could never understand She's got her feet up on the dashboard as he fumbles for the gears Neither one's been so dissatisfied in years Have you ever seen the city from a rental car at night? Through a foggy rear view mirror, it's a melancholy sight And when you bit the hand that fed you And hurt the ones you love the most It's best you just keep driving up the coast ♪ Now she's paying with his credit card While he gather's up his thoughts She's got peroxide and a ponytail, and some cut-off denim shorts Bare midriff and a bracelet that was just this morning bought You see it all ends up as evidence in court Yeah, it's just a portrait of a husband as a middle-aged man He's standing there all stripped to bare, covered in fake tan She's dancing in the shallows while he's clinging to his beer And who knows, he could be dead inside a year Yeah, it's just a portrait of an artist as a middle-aged man Staring blankly at a canvas with his trembling hands And he'd appreciate an audience just to watch him disappear Any luck he'll be dead inside a year While back at home they're hanging tinsel And they're fighting back the tears No one's singing Christmas songs around here