It's not until now that I realise
The injuries left hidden inside
And how scared I was that you'd be repulsed by this body of mine
That you'd cower away and you'd freak out
When all the worst parts of me leaked out
Of my nose and my mouth,
Every pore of my skin and my ears and my eyes.
And I told you my weak breathing was just anxiety breath
Scared of the forbidden,
Being left alone with the worst thoughts running wild inside my head
Cast my memory back
Slowly draw in the net
Throw myself right into the current, will I float?
What a time we did have
When we weren't thinking so hard
Well I guess it's a comfort we've emptied our pockets of stones
With the flesh inside me crawling
And the lungs in my chest still heaving
I'll try to untangle this mess that I've mangled
And order it into a line
But sometimes plain speaking can't do justice
To the rawness and the roughness
Of the pieces of past that have cut me apart
And make me a wreck by design
And I told you my quick breathing was just anxiety breath
Scared of the silence,
Being left alone and everything leading to death
And now I'm alone,
I'm riding home and my mind it twists and it cries
Why is it only easy, is it always easy, easier to talk in the night?
Cast my memory back
Slowly draw in the net
Throw myself right into the current, will I float?
What a time we did have
When we weren't thinking so hard
Well I guess it's a comfort we've emptied our pockets of stones
I am constantly pushing aside the debris
I am constantly losing sight of my feet
I am trying to see where I should go
But the words in my head are stuck in my throat
Cast my memory back
Slowly draw in the net
Throw myself right into the current, will I float?
What a time we did have
When we weren't thinking so hard
Well I guess it's a comfort we've emptied our pockets of stones