I tried to walk the tightrope of perfection Ended up the year with hating my reflection I broke hearts, 'cause mine's an endless pendulum, it sways I throw a fit to see if you will stay Am I the villain? Or am I just a stranger on a train? I like to type my feelings into code, I can't explain sometimes I circle back to double check if the neighborhood has changed I stay up late, but it won't take away the pain It's such a long road from here, that validation Screams and then it echoes in my ear, that realization Hits mе just as I take another leap of faith Always showing up so latе The party guests are barely awake ♪ I have a habit of saying yes to all demands I have a habit of refusing every offered helping hand And I have a habit of hoping that they cancel every plan I'm made of glass, but will they ever understand? 'Cause I'm not too dangerously ambitious I'm just counting down the years That I still qualify for "30 under 30s" lists When was the last time I indulged in breakfast? I'm unhealthy but at least I still exist Writing songs is not the equivalent of therapy Neither is holding all your breath and counting calories Feels like they don't know that I try so hard What could fix this broken heart? 'Cause I tried to walk the tightrope of perfection Ended up the year with hating my reflection I dread each time I have to look my parents in the eyes Being okay is one extravagant disguise