Step right up!
We bring to you the finest entertainment
And I am pleased to be your humble servant
Accept our hospitality
Indulge in abnormality
Step right up!
We've something here for everyone's enjoyment
I do this as a gift—not for employment
A portrait of insanity
Approached with pure humanity
Come see our girls! Crazy girls!
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride!
Those girls! Crazy girls!
They're hot! They're nuts! They're suicidal!
Tickets cheap! It's a crime!
And they're half price after four o'clock so toss us a dime
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time!
Come see the girls! Girls! Girls!
Some of them are really quite attractive as you'll see
And some are truly hideous—I'm sure that you'll agree
While others still look rather quite a lot like you and me
But you mustn't let them fool you!
Just one more rule:
You shouldn't look this one too long in the eye
That one, let's just keep walking by
These ain't no ordinary girls, and we've a steady supply
So grab another cup of tea and follow me
To see the girls! Crazy girls!
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride!
Those girls! Crazy girls!
They're hot! They're nuts! They're suicidal!
Tickets cheap! It's a crime!
And they're half price after four o'clock so toss us a dime
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time!
Come see the girls! Girls! Girls!
Now, has anybody any clever questions for your guide?
For a penny more, go on and ask! We've nothing here to hide
Quiet down! You, sir!
If insanity's primarily a femininish malady
And no one's doubting that for it's a scientific fact
Then, according to the medics, have they faultier genetics?
Are they born with this disease, or is it something they contract?
It's all to do with reproductive organs
Which are naturally unstable in a dame
You see, from lunar we have lunacy and lunatic and loony
And they're always ovulating by the cycle of the moony
I have a question!
Shoot!
Has any patient ever been released?
Would you send her home if her bizarre behavior were decreased?
For the good of our society, they oughtn't reproduce
So, while they may pretend propriety, we'll never let them loose!
Come see the girls! Crazy girls!
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride!
Those girls! Crazy girls!
They're hot! They're nuts! They're suicidal!
Tickets cheap! It's a crime!
And they're half price after four o'clock so toss us a dime
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time!
Come see the girls! Girls! Girls!
Some are born mad
Some achieve madness
And some have madness thrust upon them!
This is the real thing my friends
Guaranteed, one hundred percent, authentic, mentally ill!
Accept no imitations!
For a little extra on the side
We can arrange for a slightly more "intimate" encounter
Wink wink
For a tuppence, just a tuppence
A handful of pills to feed the inmates!
We've got pills for depression, obsession
Aggression, possession, indiscretion
There's a bloody pill for everything nowadays!
How big is a lady's brain?
It's really very, very small
A simple thought is quite a strain!
This seems just a bit inhumane
That's just a simple little shock
It doesn't cause her any pain
You see, they're really more like animals than people
Which has been proven haven't any souls at all
The only bits that aren't inferior are bosom and posterior
And these are only useful in a seedy music hall
They don't bite. Well, she might
I say, this one does look hungry tonight!
So get your picture with an inmate
But be sure she's locked up tight!
They're practically wild, sir!
Protect your child, sir!
They don't recall the taste of freedom
They're just happy if we feed 'em
So point and laugh, it isn't bad
They oughtn't mind because they're mad!
If you haven't got a dime, toss us your pearls!
You're welcome to enjoy our girls!
Crazy girls!
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride!
Those girls! Crazy girls!
We're hot!
They're hot!
We're nuts!
They're nuts!
They're (we're) suicidal!
Tickets cheap! It's a crime!
And they're half price after four o'clock so toss us a dime
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time!
I've got a lot more words to say
But I just can't make'em rhyme
So ladies, let this be a lesson to ya
Keep your hair uncut
Your corsets tight
Your morals high
Your knitting neat
Your yapper shut
This is what comes of overeducating
Mentally overstimulating
Too much serious conversating
Organized religion hating
Sinful unwed copulating
Marriage without procreating
Girl on girl caught lesbiating
She was caught while masturbating!
Male mind manipulating
Chronically hallucinating
Certainly there's no debating
Some we just find fascinating!
Women's rights facilitating
Independent thought creating
She just may be complicating
Get your money out, we're waiting!
To see those girls!
Girls!
Girls!