Just checking in
Can't say much for you obviously
I'm sure you know that just as well as me
I've been there too I mean that honestly
It's so reductive to say how I feel
(And it's not productive to tell you how I feel)
So I don't speak even when I need
(So I don't say shit, don't say shit, and I know you know it)
I'm sure you know that just as well as me
(Just as well it's me, take you back to hell with me)
You've been there through it all right next to me
(I know things don't go right)
And I know it sounds like
Just checking,
How you feeling?
I know, nothing
I can't heal it
Up I feel your weight off my chest
Comfort trapped confinement
Year I spent in womb I died in
Year I spent in awe what life is
Leashed on cord that birthed me
Take my worthy
Take me back to (purgatory)
(Leave what made me to reform me)
Year I spent in room my angel guided
Out the door my core in violence
Me amore my empty space deep
Shallow dome osmoses into white sheets
New people, nice teeth
Good taste
Long tongue
No feet
Second year post-post-post-post-partum
I leave
And I hate it like I always did
Succeed like I always did
Out of spite
Out of anger
In the night
Out of sacrifice fantasy
I can see
Clear in the dark
So I keep my eyes closed and my ears ringing
Back in bed that squeaks when I breath
Cold with no snake to suffocate
All to put my palm where the pipe leaks
Let you drown when I leave
Weigh me down with that guilt and resent
Running thick in thin blood
And I promise it's no one's fault
And I promise it's no one's fault
I can feel your short of breath from my room
I can hear the ticks you didn't used to have
In this house we're shutting down
I was checking in I'm chipping now