I got a buer that works in Dillons in the back of me Vauxhall Viva, She had massive melons and I wanted bang her beaver, She had real bad breath and a touch of the pox, But I ripped off her bags and her sweaty socks, And I Rattled my 'tatoes against her dirt box. Spread your legs and get your knickers down. Spread your legs and don't make a sound, I'm God's gift to women in this fuckin' town, So spread your legs and get your knickers down. She said I was good looking And I looked a bit like George Michael, But she didn't want a fuckin' she were on her menstrual cycle, So I gives her a lift down to Sandbats. She after some grub, she were on the cadge, So I got some meat and stuffed it up her vag. Spread your legs and get your knickers down, Spread your legs and don't make a sound, I'm God's gift to women in this fuckin' town, So spread your legs and get your knickers down. It were a messy job, but I kept my shirt on. A penny round collar that I got from Burton's, And I got a good taste of her Bird's Eye big curtains... Spread your legs and get your knickers down, Spread your legs and don't make a sound, I'm God's gift to women in this fuckin' town, So spread your legs and get your knickers down. (Repeat