Well, it's dark and dank in the city across the Bay.
You may as well walk the streets at night — you're not safe anyway.
You hear the click - click - clickin' of heels on the sidewalk,
And "You Know Who" is out stalkin' your block
You carry cans of Mace, but that won't keep him away.
There's a swish of purple satin up underneath his cape.
If you're young and handsome and male, you'll never escape,
'Cause he's got a real hunger for a certain part of your anatomy,
Singin', "Hey, shoobie-doobie, baby, Count on me!"
He's been on a liquid protein diet from the year one,
And the people he's persuaded to try it, they say that it's fun.
But the bad publicity is beginning to hurt.
Yeah, the local press, they all say that he's some kind of pervert.
You can hire police protection, but that won't keep him away
There's a swish of purple satin up underneath his cape
If you're young and handsome and male you'll never escape
'Cause he's got a real hunger for a certain part of your anatomy
Singin' "Hey shoobie-doobie, baby, Count on me!"
He believes in liberation, the Free Press and equal rights,
But he only goes to rallies if they're held late at night.
'Cause he's the kind of supernatural type of creature
You see late at night on the horror feature,
A Jim and Tammy button — that would surely keep him away!
There's a swish of purple satin up underneath his cape
If you're young and handsome and male you'll never escape
'Cause he's got a real hunger for a certain part of your anatomy
Singin' "Hey shoobie-doobie, baby, Count on me!"