Blind drunk barely making the turn Echolocating my way through the Chinese lanterns Bathed in boorish red light Yeah, tonight's going to be a good night I came here straight from work In my work clothes, With my work friends, talking work talk, it's the worst There's that guy who only wears sandals I guess his face really isn't so bad though. I learned to fuck from a magazine And to be honest it's been a short path from that To here dancing to "The Edge of Seventeen" With charming arms around my waist But in the morning I'll be making some ding dong scrambled eggs I don't really want to take him home In a general sense but tonight hang a left I live near the end of Gravel Pit Road It's just like "Cheers" but sad I'm a great Diane--where's my Sam? Cuz there was nothing wrong with Walter He was an ok man and we had ok friends. But he loved me like a father Well not *my* father And let's not take that any farther I learned to fuck from a magazine And to be honest it's been a short path from that To here dancing to "The Edge of Seventeen" With charming arms around my waist But in the morning I'll be making some ding dong scrambled eggs