I didn't come to your party to talk about boring shit
I don't care about the weather baby
I didn't come to your party to eat all your
Chips and dip
But I might just anyway
I did not RSVP so your new boyfriend can get to know me
Everybody at the party has a job
And mine is to
Pat
That
Motherfuckin' party dog
Gotta get it gotta let that dog
In your bedroom with no one else around
And if you roommate walks in, I say
FUCK OFF
This is dog-pat town
And you don't have a passport
Then he says something stupid like
"I don't need a passport for municipal interstate travel"
This is a sovereign city state
Like the Vatican
Gotta get it gotta let that dog (yeah)
And I'm the pope of patting
Party dog, party dog
Highly plosive, pious on that pope shit
Pope of pattin' party dog that's my
Job
Check the census you will see a big
P-P-P-Phat fresco painted of me
With the big pope hat at the back of the party
One hand full of dip, and one hand full of corgi
Got to get it got to pet that dog
So kiss the ring motherfucker and I'll let you stay
And let this dog with me in the backroom of this
Weak ass party
But don't you dare try to talk with me, while we pat this dog
And your roommate agrees
Silently we pat in harmony 'till I say
"Craig" "my names Tim"
"Get this dog some cheese Craig"
Ooooh it's dog and I alone again
Don't speak you don't have to say it we both hate Craig
Godamnit
He pats too hard, he pats too fast
He's a drug addict
He tried to sell me meth
I'm the pope of petting party dog, even Craig knows
But the motherfucker thinks that he's the Camerlengo
That's the mofo who takes over the pope show
If the pope dies also
Googling what "Camerlengo"means
Leads me to the
WIKIPEDIA OF THE VATICAN
It says the Vatican has no immigration
No passport necessary
Fuck
Now my pope metaphor
Sucks
The Vatican has an open border policy with the rest of Italy
(WIKIPEDIA OF THE VATICAN) where did I go wrong?
(WIKIPEDIA OF THE VATICAN) why are you in this song
Why are you here
(WIKIPEDIA OF THE VATICAN) I'm done being told what to be
By a fucking wiki (WIKIPEDIA OF THE VATICAN)
I didn't come to your party to talk about boring shit
I don't care about the weather baby
I didn't come to your party to be told
How to live my life by a godamn website
I did not RSVP to be shamed by an encyclopaedia
Everybody at the party has a job and mine is to
PAT
THAT
MOTHERFUCKIN' PARTY DOG
(Gotta get it gotta pet that dog!)