Uh
Yeah
Know it's
It's raining outside
It's rainy shit, you know
Average shit, it's just like
Sometimes I just
Don't know
You know, like
Average team shit, like
Uh
Uh
Like
Sometimes I wanna off myself
I just wanna call it quits and slit the wrists
See how bad it bleeds
Do it just for kicks
Leave my family with no other option but just to reminisce
Intrusive thoughts are telling me
"Fuck it," but I think I'd be pissed
Like
See my future drowning in chrome
Don't wanna go outside, I'd rather stay home
Thoughts invade my mind while I'm sad all alone
I try it 'till I see the girl that's on the back of my phone
Nowadays I find it hard to cope with losses in my life
I need my homies more than ever now, they know I'm not alright
My girl got too much on her plate for me to bring this to her sight
It's just how I operate, I don't like ruining peoples nights
But nights get cold, and days get longer
Hours turned to seconds and my thoughts feel like bothers
Can never talk to my mom about feelings, forget my father
It kills me to be so closed off, it makes life harder
My girls like three seconds away from leaving me
Because I keep eating away at her heart
When it just wants to be peacefully
Miscommunication, that can be avoided so easily
I'm supposed to be enjoying peace, but it's just war with me
I'm kinda glad life doesn't come with an extended warranty
'Cause if I had to do this shit again, I'd return the receipt
I been trying to warn motherfuckers that something's wrong with me
But when they hear this, they'll just see it as another song for me
Now it's got me thinking like
Is it worth it?
Is this the life I wanna live?
Will this work? Shit
I put a big smile on, even when I'm hurting
My joyful life deteriorates the minute I close the curtain
Overthinking to myself like
Will I stay or will I go?
Will I die or will I grow?
In all honesty I don't fucking know and so be it
I can give a flying fuck if I'm alive or I'm not but
Sometimes I wanna off myself
I just wanna call it quits and slit the wrists
See how bad it bleeds
Do it just for kicks
Leave my family with no other option but just to reminisce
Intrusive thoughts are telling me
"Fuck it," but I think I'd be pissed
Like
See my future drowning in chrome
Don't wanna go outside, I'd rather stay home
Thoughts invade my mind while I'm sad all alone
I try it 'till I see the girl that's on the back of my phone
Uh
Months have passed, I'm fine now
No more relapsing on my mothers lap now
I relax and laugh when I look back
Speaking of back, my phone case is empty now
I can breathe again, my mind drifts on an empty cloud
Across the country doing what I love, it can't get better
In Liam's room making magical tunes in my golf sweater
This was my suicide letter
Now this my redemption song
This was a cry out for help
But now it's just proof I was strong
No more just dragging along
The people love my new songs
My career starting to carry, the growth I've seen is amazing
The vision starting to get scary
Finally feel there's a purpose
No more feelings of being worthless
Just glad I didn't fall through in January
That's why
I don't wanna off myself
I don't wanna call it quits and slit the wrists
To see how bad it bleeds
And do it just for kicks
Can't leave my family with no other option to reminisce
'Cause if I'm so selfish to end it, my momma gon' lose her kid
Like
My future now is bright I'm at home
Always active outside, I'm never cooped up alone
Dreams of living rich with whips all made of chrome
Wake up in the morning happy as shit to look at my phone
Damn!