I still haven't found a girlfriend, Though i've tried a lot. So, can you help me please, It's tougher than i thought. The odds are pretty good, But the goods are pretty odd. Though at this point, I'll take anything you've got. I see this all the time, Nice girls in love with jerks, What could they be thinking? Tell me how it works. If i got some problems, Well i wouldn't be the first. But the ones I have in mind are even worse. And even Hitler had a girlfriend, Who he could always call, That would always be there for him In spite of all his faults He was the worst guy ever. Reviled and despised, Even Hitler had a girlfriend So why can't I? Why can't I? Life is full of contradictions Hard to understand And for every happy woman, There's a lonely man Nixon had his puppy. Charles Manson had his clan God forbid that i get a girlfriend. Even Hitler had a girlfriend Who he could call his own, To sweeten days of bitterness, And feeling all alone I'm not as bad as Hitler, But that doesn't mean a thing, Since they'd rather be with Hitler, more than me I don't see, why they'd rather be with Hitler, More than me.