My auntie's in the parlour sipping sherry from a paper cup And father'd bite your head off, he's working up to nine o'clock Sister's only sixteen and she thinks she's on the shelf And mother says don't worry, you've always got your health You've always got your health Times ain't what they used to be, but then they never were Looking forward to the good old days in my rocking chair If I knew ten years ago the things that I know now I'd understand where and when and wonder why and how I'd understand where and when and wonder why and how At three o'clock we'd hear the bell, it never rang before it's time To the back seat of the bus, making faces at the cars behind Join the conversation, but we never had the nerve Children should be seen they said, and never should be heard Should be seen and never heard I fell in love at seventeen, both of us mature and wise Couldn't put two words together, but I thought the sun shone from her eyes Ended at the altar when I took the wedding vow Went running to the mirror, saw the wrinkles on my brow Saw the wrinkles on my brow I gave up on religion for the better, maybe for the worse Avoiding Father Murphy, his blessings always were a curse Life was getting colder so I bought a winter coat And jumped off the nearest bridge, what a time to learn to float What a time to learn to float There's a bad girl down the street and she is standing by the factory gate She said she'd fall in love some day, but up til then she'd have to wait Settle for a husband and a family saloon And 2.7 children and collecting Mills & Boon Collecting Mills & Boon