Of all the theatre critics Dorothy was the worst She could be most sarcastic And cruel and perverse If she were alive she'd be a friend of mine Dorothy Parker's hair was dark and listless Just like my hippy brother Chris's If she was pessimistic She was the humorist kind She wrote sad short stories With the funniest lines If she were alive she'd be a friend of mine Dorothy Parker's hair was dark and listless Just like my hippy brother Chris's Up in the old Algonquin Talking verse and in rhyme Drinking around the table Every lunch time If she were alive she'd be a friend of mine Dorothy Parker's hair was dark and listless Just like my hippy brother Chris's Aah aah Aah aah