I read it in the paper I saw it on the news I heard it on the radio They told me at work Troop movements in the Ukraine Missile silos in the sugar cane No desire to die in an Asian swamp They've got no proper toilets They've got no modern shops I've been learning Russian And I'm visiting a Mosque I'll build a steel house No matter what it costs Who wants to be in the military army From force of habit persuasion by the law? I'd rather stay here and survive the war By hiding in a grain elevator I read it in the paper I saw it on the news I heard it on the radio They told me at work Troop movements in the Ukraine Missile silos in the sugar cane If I don't mind missing out on the pleasures of looting I don't mind missing out on death by shooting I'll worry about motor car accidents Cancer and the politics of rootin'