There's something very funny going on here Yes there is something very strange that's going down I've got this real uneasy feelin' In my stomach most of the time And usually it gets worse When you're around Now I know you are my ever lovin' baby Yes I know that you would never do me wrong So I hope that you won't take offense But I've got to ask you some questions darlin' Because there's something most unusual goin' on For instance How come I can't see you in my mirror? How come you never come around here 'cept at night? How come you won't say where your family lives And you always look so pale? And how come you've got that crazy look there in your eyes? Now lately babe You smell just like a basement And your wardrobe's down to strictly black and red Sometimes at night I can see you Down on the pavement sneakin' around Come to think of it When do you go to bed? Now I ain't one to go and start no rumors No I ain't never used a poison pen But I don't much care for the way You tend to pick your teeth out in public baby Or the way you're always starin' at my neck So tell me How come I can't see you in my mirror? How come you never come around here in the day? How come you start to hiss when I say my prayers And you wear those stupid capes And every time you see a cross you run away? Hey What'd you say your name was anyway?