I feel like a coffee mug
I feel like a missing sock
I feel like a quiet thud
I feel like an aftershock
I feel like the shirt you leave behind
When you go on vacation
I feel like I can't just let this slide
So you are on probation
One, two, three
If I ever let you kiss me again, you'll have to answer to my fist
If I ever let you kiss me again
You'll have to read the enclosed book list
If I ever let you kiss me again, you won't hold me to rationality
If I ever let you kiss me again, you'll have to change your whole personality
Ooh-whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
Ooh-whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
I feel like the skimmed part in a bucket of skim milk
I feel like the warm heart of a cow that you just killed
I feel like a delicious milkshake at a table of vegans
I feel like a piece of devil's food cake possessed by asparagus demons
One, two, three
If I ever let you kiss me again, you'll have to promise not to bite
If I ever let you kiss me again
You'll have to listen if we fight
If I ever let you kiss me again, we'll have to talk about morality
If I ever let you kiss me again
We'll have to change your whole personality
Ooh-whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
Ooh-whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
I feel like brand-new strings on a piece of shit guitar
I feel like all sorts of things, but mostly I feel like crap so far
I feel like I wanna sing a song
Where the singer sings they're feeling sad
Well shit, we already are (you're right)
So let's make the last chorus totally rad
♪
One, two, three
If I ever let you kiss me again
If I ever let you kiss me again
Something that rhymes with that
If I ever let you kiss me again, we'll adjust your terse mentality
If I ever let you kiss me again
We'll have to change your whole personality
Ooh-whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
Ooh-whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
Ooh-whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
Ooh-whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh