A man walks down the street He says, "Why am I soft in the middle, now Why am I soft in the middle, now The rest of my life is so hard I need a photo opportunity I want a shot at redemption Don't want to end up a cartoon In a cartoon graveyard" Bonedigger, bonedigger Dogs in the moonlight Far away in my well-lit door Mr. Beerbelly, Beerbelly Get these mutts away from me You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty, when you call me You can call me Al You can call me Al ♪ You can call me Al ♪ A man walks down the street He says, "Why am I short in attention? Got a short little span of the attention And whoa, my nights are so long Where's my wife and family? What if I die here? Who'll be my role model Now that my role model is gone, gone?" He ducked back down the alley With some Roly-poly little bat-faced girl All along, along There were incidents and accidents There were hints and allegations If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty, when you call me You can call me Al If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal I can call you Betty And Betty, when you call me You can call me Al You can call me Al ♪ You can call me Al ♪ You can call me Al ♪ You can call me Al ♪ You can call me Al