In January we made plans for what we'd do this year Travel! Parties! A promotion! Merriment and cheer! But soon thereafter life began to truly run aground So there's just one thing to sing as December rolls around What the actual fuck, 2020? What the flippety flappety fuck? At points we had a little hope But then you slapped us and said "Nope, every day will fucking suck!" So 2020, what the fuck? "Just gotta get to New Year's Eve!" That's cute, however This might simply be how bad life is forever Whoever's writing this hellish rollercoaster plot Could you stop? You sadistic twisted crackpot! What the actual fuck, 2020? What the crap? What the hell? What the fuck? So much bullshit that we hated It seems almost calculated This is more than just bad luck So 2020, what the fuck? Oh, hear the sleigh bells jingle The magic makes you tingle But it's not safe to mingle So you won't meet Kris Kringle All your single friends? Still single! What the actual fuck, 2020? (What the fuck?) What the ball-kicking, eye-gouging fuck? Take figgy puddings if you've got 'em And shove 'em up your bottom Your sweet fa-la-la-la-la's Stink as much as Santa Claus You don't even comprehend How much we want this shit to end So we can somehow climb out of this muck 2020, what the fuck?