Concerning Lix and Fairs, well that's a good'un
And I hope you have the ear strength to listen to the whole thing
Lix was a good man, to be sure, and sure liked to have his good fun
And like everyone, he has his flaws, and yep, overpartying's one
So when Malcolm came in to dust the
Suspects, Lix fired a shot of "All-Ray"
With a whoosh he was whisked to the
Nearby woods, and time skipped to later that day
Ok I'm not sure, I can't really say
Just how he obtained that weird "All-Ray"
Nah I don't know, (and I really don't care)
But I remember the night that Lix found Fairs
A poison dart frog that's right
A bright tiny son-of-a-gun
He spotted the leap-about late that night
While trawling the woods for his son
So Lix picks him up with a stick 'n says "hi"
To his new dendrobatidae chum
"You're small as a tick - I'm calling you FAIRS"
It lept in the brim of the hat on his head
2 new friends, an unlike-ely pair
The old mate Lix and a frog named Fairs
2 best friends, the inseparable pair
The moustached Lix and the dart frog Fairs
They came across the eggshell
And weird track marks in the sand
Followed them for oh, maybe 7 hours?
Through trampled weeds and flowers
It led them to the site
Of the parliament of owls
At their annual meeting
Another baffled greeting
As they explain "He was just here!"
They drew another map
And so he headed westward
But the owl's directions and the
Creature's tracks they didn't correspond
Lix was a mess - a panic attack
But Fairs calmly croaked in the brim of his hat
A mash of the keys, and a shot of All-Ray
Didn't help as the same spot there they stayed
Now Lix didn't know how fast he could run
With a poncho, hat and a fickle ray gun
But I couldn't time, I wouldn't dare
How quick was the air from Lix & Fairs
Now listener, don't be sad
When I tell you they almost nearly made it
They watched the creature dive in
The weird All-Knowing activates its
Suckers and it latched to that which hatched
But soon it gets distracted - whack
Attacked there by our moustached hero with the All-Ray in his hand
Then a frog to feast on flaps its flippers, so the fierce old cephalo
Pod springs forth (with fifty hundred
Fangs) and goes to chomp our now huge
Friend with poison oozing from its skin
Fiddling controls again
Lix takes another shot but WHAT?
Fairs leaps out in the way
Oblivious to what is happening
Suddenly Fairs is large
Big as a whale so Lix jumps on
Oh no, the monster lunges
Lix has no other choice but to
Sacrifice Fairs, his best friend just to save himself
The squiddy beast poisoned, all shrivelled it be
The rock creature sunk down into the sea
Lix swam to shore with tears in his eyes
And Fairs shrunk back down to his usual size
And Malcolm would pass, and who should he find?
Well, maybe we'll leave that till next time