I try not to dissociate
When I see my own reflection in the mirror
I'm trying to convince myself
That these feelings will go away
Why do I put myself through this
Every moment I have is spent
Trying my best to just impress
People that don't even care
Losing myself in a cognitive loop
Where I try to solve my problems with a bottle
Popping pills so I can push through the pain
But I'm just trying to break the cycle
But it's all my fault
I took it way too far
I had no consideration
For the ones that i'd hurt
I lost control and tore apart at the seams
Looking into my reflection
I've lost the will to breathe
To let it go
And leave it all behind
Is just something that I can't afford
I'm a slave to my own mind
All hope is gone and i'm destined to fail
Locked in a battle where I know I won't prevail
Dead elegance
Spilling out of the cracks in the mirror
Eyes turn black, covered in glass, wilt into my nightmares
Memories fade, slither away, living in decay
Will I ever escape this grave
The emptiness
Unsure, if I was made to suffer
Unsure, if this will last forever
I've found my peace after five long years
But I promise in the end
We can try to fix this
Lets let it go
And leave the past behind
We can build towards a better tomorrow
With our newfound peace of mind
I try