They tell me to focus on the good
But I can't focus on the good
I've not been doing what I should
I'm not becoming what I could be
Gotta break these habits looking back at how they hooked me
A journey without love sounds like energy worth conserving
Lost in my mind
I try but I can't let it go
And I ain't cracked a smile since the day u left me alone
I been trying to fill the whole
By getting money and a hoe
And all the weed that I can smoke
But nothing works so I'm at home writing a song
I've been thinking all night long
And Now I can't even sleep
Will I wake up from this dream
Or is this hell reality?
We were taking lsd laying so close could barely breathe
Now every days like Halloween I'm fighting haunted memories
I no longer care about the petty shit
I lost the only person in my life who brought me happiness
I guess I never show how much I love it when I'm having it
But I'd do anything to have you wrapped up in my grasp again
Sitting on the beach you had me feeling like a bitch
And I've been staying on my mission but my mind's in the abyss
I guess this is payback for the cage I put you in
Cuz now I'm wrapped up in these chains and I keep falling on my chin
I get up again and again and again
Why doesn't it get easier when is it gonna end?
Now you not a friend in the end we ain't shit
Been trying to accept but the flame is still lit
Disappear into the void
Lean upon this white noise
Last couple of months I've been on autopilot
I don't want to talk about it
Nothing's going right just let me be
Now I'm free
But I've still been feeling trapped as ever
You're not what I need
But you're the one I think I'll want forever
And I've been tryna keep my focus through the cloudy weather
Only motivation that I have is that you'll want me later
It's sad to say but I'm just trying to put my pain to paper
Lately I've been dancing in the rain to make me feel better
No body feels better
I'd rather be alone
Got me feeling stupid for these feelings I still hold
I said a lot of things I didn't mean and never proved them wrong
And now I just regret the time we wasted because you're really gone
It doesn't feel real
I must still be tripping
I'm reaching for these heights without no balance keep on tipping
We were supposed to grow together remember but we didn't
I only started growing once you left guess that's my gift
Yeah I guess that's my gift
Blessing in disguise I been pushing through the shit
Gotta accept it how it is