Pat is the guy with the record shop And John sells fruit but wants to be a cop And Paul deals speed in a Celtic top But I'm just a drunk in a band ♪ Joe does telesales and martial arts And Gill pushes patients 'round the public parks And Nancy makes sculptures out of hoover parts But I'm just a drunk in a band ♪ Danny puts the cones on the motorway And Donna dances tables in her lingerie And Gerry, Dave and Billy, man, they're puttin' on a play But I'm just a drunk I'm just a drunk in a band I'm just a drunk in a band I'm just a drunk in a band I'm just a drunk in a band ♪ Pat is the guy with the record shop And John sells fruit but wants to be a cop And Paul deals speed in a Celtic top But I'm just a drunk in a band A drunk in a band A drunk in a band A drunk in a band (Drunk in a band) I could be a soldier, I could drive a van Guide rivers of pain into little red cans (drunk in a band) Walk rich men's dogs, bring 747s into land (drunk in a band) But I'm just a drunk in a band I'm just a drunk in a band I'm just a drunk in a band I'm just a drunk in a band