Dear mom, I'm sorry for all Those crazy things I did. I'm sorry, I was just a kid. Like the time I put holes In your wall with my ninja stars. Or the time I feel asleep And took the bumper off your car. Dear mom, I'm sorry for all The things I'm doing now. 7 years in college And I'm still not out. Not a doctor or a lawyer, In a crappy punk band. 25 years old and still more of A kid than a man. I'm sorry for being A bum wastin' time dreaming. I wish I had success for you. So I could buy you A house on the hill. You could play bingo And just chill. I wish I had success of you.