Sit around all day remote control glued to my hand Just waiting for a visit from Ed McMahon Oppourtunity is knockin but I can't open the door Cause I'm shit faced drunk passed out on the kitchen floor I'm a bum Wating for my fortune to fall into my lap But if I gotta work for it I'd rather take a nap I can eat, I can sleep, I can play nintendo But if you paid me to go to work, I still wouldn't go I'm a bum I'm a bum Sit around all day And I get nothin' done I'm a bum I'm a bum That's right I'm a bum The boob tube replaced the dog As man's best friend Doesn't shit on the floor Always has an ear to lend Nacho supreme, a pizza Ten hours of tv Is all my life will ever be If i could pick lotto numbers Like i pick my nose I'd escape the life of bein' an average Joe Til' then I'll just sit around all day Remote control in hand Just waiting for a visit from Ed McMahon