I was the kind of kid back in school
Who wore a 'Members Only' jacket and said it was cool
That's when I met Katrina, she was best friends with Seshel
I thought she was the one, yeah, I thought that she was special
I saw her in the hall about a quarter to three
I said,? I'll take you in my Nova to the Tasty Freeze?
She said,? I know all about you, more than I should
I know all about your dirty mags you keep in the wood?
So tell me, how I'm supposed to be
When I've been stalked by a lesbian?
I can't sleep a wink
And I'm married to the ephedrine
How am I supposed to sleep
When I've been stalked by a lesbian now?
Stalked by a lesbian now
Now don't take it light, it might seem funny to you
Yesterday my science project was covered in glue
So I asked that guy Seshel, I said,? Was it something I said?
He said,? Quit being so fucking paranoid, it's all in your head?
The way she's looking at me, I think she wants me to be
The guy that always gets shot in every movie you see
Oh God, she's walking this way, oh God, what could I say?
And I hope and I pray that one day she's gonna be straight
So tell me, how I'm supposed to be
When I've been stalked by a lesbian?
I can't sleep a wink
And I'm married to the ephedrine
How am I supposed to sleep
When I've been stalked by a lesbian now?
Stalked by a lesbian now
Stalked by a lesbian now
So I was at a bar the other night and I looked across the room
And there's this girl and she walks up to me
She's beautiful and she says
? Hey, I'm Katrina, dude, remember me?
And I freaked, I said,? Oh my God, I thought you looked familiar?
About this time, this 400 fucking pound woman walks up
With Katrina's face tattooed on the side of her neck
She comes waddling up and says,? Don't fuck with my girl?
I looked at Jabba straight in the fucking eye and I say
? Don't worry, every time I picture Katrina's face
It's gonna be on the side of your gross, fat-assed, 3 chinned neck?
She says,? Are you stupid?, I say, "No, I'm just sober?
So tell me, how I'm supposed to be
When I've been stalked by a lesbian?
I can't sleep a wink
And I'm married to the ephedrine
How am I supposed to sleep
When I've been stalked by a lesbian now?
Stalked by a lesbian now
Stalked by a lesbian now
I hope she beat the shit outta you, you homophobic