Everybody going crazy brain for Christmas
Seems to me that humanity
Has forgotten what this time was about
All your materialistic presents
Paying all of your attention
To the wrong religion
You gotta stop making it all about Jesus
The true meaning of the season
Is the Druidic Solstice Ritual
Before it got nicked by the Christians
We were Ho-Ho-Hoing around Stonehenge
The true meaning of the season
Didn't used to be
Caroling and Christmas cheer
Take me back to the time
When they did things right
Like a live bull sacrifice
Underneath the mistletoe
And were they using it for kissin'? No
They would take the mistlefruit
And squeeze it into juice
And drink it
Cause they thought it would make them horny
We've forsaken the beautiful Yule traditions
Like Gryla the goblin witch
Who climbs out of the ditch to eat ya kids
Forget the coziness and good willing
We need more state-sanctioned ritual killing
Sign my petition
I only need a hundred thou' to get it debated in Parlament
The true meaning of the season
Is the Pagan rite of saturnalia
For seven days they let a guy do literally whatever he liked
And on the eighth, he was publicly sacrificed
The true meaning of the season
My Pagan friends, how could we forget
The tradition of Mari Lawyd at Llangynwyd
Where they get a dead horse's head
And take it 'round the town on a stick
They'd even put it in a cute bonnet
And take it up to someone's door and sing loudly
'Til the owner was forced to let everybody in the house
Including the horse
Christmas sucks let's bring back fucking Yule
Be the change you wanna see
Wear a horse skeleton head this Christmas