Hi, do you wanna hear a story? It happened a long time ago In the ancient year of 1993 When the Earth fell under dark days All the sitcoms were the same There was nothing special enough for good dads to watch on TV Basic cable was doomed Quantum Leap was ending, and all dads were sad Then, he arrived When the moon is high and when the lights are low Dad will say goodbye and watch his favorite show Walker Texas Ranger, a savior from the west Fighting naughty crime, he kicks it in the chest Nothing stops his foot and nothing stops his fist He kicked right through a car, and burnt a man to crisp He flew a jetpack, and punched right through a wall He jumped out of a plane and in the hearts of all Feeling down or feeling hurt? Just stressed out from all your work? Didn't sleep cause loved one snored? Being chased by a drug lord? Well don't you fear and don't you curse 'Cause joy on Earth is this here verse When you fear that you can't take more Just turn the tube to channel 4 Bearded angel kicking Fords A prophet for Dad to adore He stands for good, he stands for right He quantum kicks and final fights Dad enjoys all through the night Justice under Southwest skies Forget your vice and float away, It's 1993 again We're never in danger Thanks to Texas Ranger Walker holds the power An angel for an hour Sing this quantum chorus An anthem for Chuck Norris Eight eternal seasons A human god giving quantum beatings ♪ The eyes of ♪ Eyes of a ♪ Ranger are on you
Dad is just an average human Livin' everyday like Truman On the couch, just channel cruisin' Study all of Walker's movements Entire show is Dad's favorite part He's programmed with a beating heart I mean I was born here like you A normal type of birthing too In hospital here inside Earth But Dad, he was the very first The one to quench the quantum thirst Now bop his tunes 'til your head hurts And cut some shapes into the dirt Like Walker did to that one jerk But do not read into these words Or you'll get kicked beyond the worlds We're never in danger Thanks to Texas Ranger Walker holds the power An angel for an hour Sing this quantum chorus An anthem for Chuck Norris Eight eternal seasons A human god giving quantum beatings The eyes of the Ranger Are upon you