I was getting slightly intoxicated I was going half way out of my mind So I walked over to the pay phone and I waited For some helpful voice to come on the line And as I stood there I could see her face Bloodshot memory for a welcome mat And then a voice came from beyond time and space Said, "How can I help you? How can I help you?" Information, please my baby Information, please my baby Last I heard it she was out your way Grooming horses for the rodeo Here's her last name, but it might have changed I hope that it hasn't but you never know Last time I saw her didn't think to ask Truth to tell you is I did not know That just behind that faithful lover's mask She was waiting, she was waiting Information, please my baby Information, please my baby All I want for Christmas is a storybook ending Or at least an explanation why? And I'd say, "Baby, I'm just curious, were you pretending? Or was it all just a lie?" If by some miracle I made it through And heard her pretty voice smile back at me I know exactly what I'd do I'd tell her, "Baby please come back to me." On second thought I would act casual Act like I did not miss her face at all I'd say the only thing that makes me call Could you provide me with a little bit of . . . Information, please my baby Information, please my baby