Where illogical is canonical The lives least led are the ones most chronicled The right to leaky lifeboat does not include preservers And even if you walk atop the waves you won't disturb us Turned on by law we get off on technicality High on your honor we can pay off a calamity Where illogical is canonical First the soul and then the spine, fine Unctuous hypocrite grandstands through gritted teeth The puckered asterisk becomes the coward's sheath Stand in a bucket, lift yourself up by the leaden handles And when the lights grow dim we hear the vermin scramble Where illogical is canonical The lives least led are the ones most chronicled