Tell me where all the cool people go Been told I'm livin much too slow Out here in rural Ohio I'm searching for job a with a view Pay them bills and get a nice pair of shoes Can't find that none of that in rural ohio So I hit the road and I ain't comin back No more tractors and a dirty slacks From now on it's just me myself and California There's shiny objects and silver screens Special EFX and Mr. Bean Dr. Spock and Martin Sheen Oh California I haven't made it yet but I know a guy who has I asked him for his secret and he all he gave me was some sass You don't have what it takes, so go on back to Ohio Well I says to him no I ain't doing that I drove 1000 miles in my Cadillac Just give me a chance Cast me in a, in a B Movie Cast me in a B movie Oh I want it so bad I ain't goin back to Ohio