Your footman barred me from the door Said I couldn't see you no more What's with this bureaucracy When I filled the forms you left for me He's a loyal man who waits for you Where loyalty is such taboo Sixteen keyholes in one straight line I look through them from time to time The weather down your end looks fine But the forecast's grim down mine I'm no gamble better understand I like to know the story plan People say I got no sense But I'm waiting for an audience with you And all the wrestlers you've employed And all the boys with whom you toyed You tell me please don't get annoyed You're behaving like some Helen of Troy I don't care for original sin It's a stupid world we're living in Your paid assassin makes me wait He eats with fingers off his plate He says you've got a pressing date With r.i.ps and heads of state I know that he won't let me in Cos villains always have bad skin People say I got no sense But I'm waiting for an audience with you A plastic surgeon's your best friend He's got the means to any end He's so efficient, you're so vain So we won't see your face again Heaven knows how hard you tried Hell was such a bumpy ride The widow with the holy eyes Got a pistol strapped into her thighs Says you're as sweet as apple pie You only get so bitchy cos you're shy But that's a load of papal bull I put you on that pedestal People say I got no sense But I'm waiting for an audience with you Give me the strength of Hercules His fallen arches, water knees And please please let me be like I oughtta be Lost and lonely, hurt and happy With a singer's vanity Now everything seems like a myth The strength that I have performed with Two thousand stairs and there's no lift Gonna get to the top and there's no if What's for me when I get there Is it just wheelchairs and grey hair And never was one letter sent I told the truth but told it bent That's the custom that's the law But don't ask me the reason for I'm just a boy in love with you I'm rejected by the things you do People say I got no sense But I'm waiting for an audience with you