How many years now has supply been short of demand?
Now the budget's cut again with no additional staff
I cut some corners, and trimmed some fat
An eight billion loss, how do I explain that?
The stats don't lie, but the children will cry
If they don't wake up with the latest toys
♪
How many elf unions must I bust to keep our Christmas presents free?
Now the festive bubble is about to pop on the top of the Christmas tree
♪
I am missing you like an iPad missing screws
Because I'm falling into pieces, it's true
And though the fire's burning bright, there's a chill left by my side
Now that you're gone, I'm left feeling so blue
How many elf unions must I bust to keep our Christmas presents free?
Now the festive bubble is about to pop, and everyone will see!
I've given almost everything
To you spoilt brats and your snotty-arsed friends
You gave me a drinking problem, and shit mince pies
But they won't bring back my cold, dead wife
♪
I am missing you like an iPad missing screws
Because I'm falling into pieces, it's true
And though the fire's burning bright, there's a chill left by my side
Now that you're gone, I'm left feeling so blue
And I know that I'm wrong to turn away from my job
If the elves could walk a mile in my shoes
I never ask for much back
So please cut me some slack
I know from up there, you'd disapprove
I am missing you like an iPad missing screws
Because I'm falling into pieces, it's true
And though the fire's burning bright, there's a chill left by my side
Now that you're gone, I'm left feeling so blue
♪
What's the point? I give up
My reindeers took their cut
I'm hopeless, livid, addicted
The elves have stolen my Christmas
Weed smoking, booze, drinking, cheap pills
Take anything when there's nothing to lose
Loose women, cheap candy, cruise, it's not fulfilling
Constantly consuming whatever makes me feel numb!
Whatever makes me feel numb
Whatever makes me feel numb
Whatever makes me feel numb!
Constantly consuming whatever makes me feel-