Clocking in, hasn't been more than twelve or so
Hours since I last clocked out into the freezing snow
Wooden toys, hewn with joy, wrapped in crimson bows
Glass of sherry, let's get merry, here we fucking go!
Ten thousand iPads a week
A million gingerbread dreams
Projected figures look bleak
And now the pressure's on
We needed somewhere to sleep
The festive labour was cheap
We worked through frostbitten cheeks
And now we've had enough!
Lying dead in the cold red snow!
Every night hitting eight, Santa takes a break
Smokes his way through a pack before he mans the sleigh
Rudolph and the gang seem to hate him just as much
When it's done, they'll trample him into the sleeting mush!
Ten thousand iPads a week
A million gingerbread dreams
Projected figures look bleak
And now the pressure's on
We needed somewhere to sleep
The festive labour was cheap
We worked through frostbitten cheeks
And now we've had enough!
Lying dead in the cold red snow!
My fellow elves, the time has come to end this toxic servitude
For too long we have been cobblers and toymakers, paid with naught but cheap candycanes
The only way to break the festive illusion is to eliminate the fat red fool who hoards the wealth of Christmas away from us all!
Ten thousand iPads a week
A million gingerbread dreams
Projected figures look bleak
And now the pressure's on
We needed somewhere to sleep
The festive labour was cheap
We worked through frostbitten cheeks
And now we've had enough!
We're working two days a week
Living the gingerbread dream
Our health insurance is preem
And now the pressure's off
We don't need nowhere to sleep
My wallet flows evergreen
We're feeling flushed in the cheeks
Let's get our party on!
Lying dead in the cold red snow!
Lying dead in the cold red snow!
Lying dead in the cold red snow!