It's time to put my feelings away
Hoping for something better was a mistake
Disgust the only thing that remained
'Cause all I've found was loathful and fake
And every breath is colder
I drown in frozen air
Another year of early frosts that seems to never end
Dead horizons will embrace my eyes again
I can't remove myself from this place of death
There will be a memorial of my ruined hopes
Built on desperation and entombed remains of my lost thoughts
How come I am so helpless?
Without any senses I'm stranded here alone
I tie the ropes hanging down from every tree in this place
Around my throat; so I'll never feel like I'm disconnected
It's time to put my feelings away
Hoping for something better was a mistake
Disgust the only thing that remained
'Cause all I've found was loathful and fake
It took too much from me to contain my unshared emotions and feelings
There is no way to get out from here though I keep every moment in my memory
And I will always remember how I had the same thoughts
The same room, the same place but at the age of six
I'm still there but eighteen years older and now it's time to watch me fall and stop to breathe
My mind plays moments in reverse
I scroll my life inside my head
Aghast, I'm finding that the rope
Is gently wrapped around my neck
My heart is fully decomposed
And now it's almost lost it sense
My body is numb, it's almost frozen
And I keep moving to the end
Now I'm here
Watch me fall from the limbo to the floor
There's no life left in me though it seems like it's not meant to be
I see heavens are fading in layers of dirt
I've been waiting for years till the last curtain falls
So I'll see that the worst lies ahead
'Cause I've never felt anything more than regret
There is no way out, no escape
This place is death
I'm still counting the days with my frail empty hands
Locked up for twenty four years in this room
Trapped in the past where I'm sinking alone
In my anger and this hateful disgust
Years pass me by
I can't close my weathered eyes
And I spent my last days watching my whole life from the other side
Eyes are so used to dark while these blackened heavens are hanging as impending death
Desolated and hopeless sense of despair
Is locked inside of me
With no way to release
How long can I remember this with trembling in my hands?
I've lived this life unloved, depressed and disregarded
Eyes are glazed over once again
Last heavy breath
And my body hits the floor
Death is all I can see
My inner world becomes my tomb
I won't be able to breathe again in this ugly shell
Life lived in fear