When nightmares come to life my body becomes so numb
Now I see death in everything
In every breath and every sound
As everything has it's end
The end of me is right here
Did I offer my time to be here buried in fragments of my memory?
I've been drowning all my life
And I've finally drowned
But I don't even know what is like not to be alone
And this is the worst part
Rooted to the ground
Chained to my deathbed
Where I ravaged my mind
Does it look like I ever could believe in anything but my own death?
Cut down trees falling to the ground completely soaked in blood
Through the darkest prism of death to the outlines of leaden clouds and sky
I draw the end of my timeline
Was it my fault that I have tried to keep my desolated life the only way I can?
If all the ways will lead me to this place of death
"I wish I'd live another life the other time '
Cause i will never know is how to be loved or to feel alive or just not to
Be alone" - my last words, released from silence of my dead thoughts
I have too much to say but every word could be the last
And I tried but failed to save my future from the past
I have never programmed myself to be a broken man
I wish I could be loved
But every time I failed
It slowly ripped my life apart
"I wish I'd live another life the other time
'Cause i will never know is how to be loved or to feel alive or just not to
Be alone" - my last words, released from silence of my dead thoughts
Words are like shards of broken glass: can't feel throat anymore
Deep in my lungs they will rot forevermore
How can I fill the void that grow inside of me for all my life without love, without trust?
This life is done: let me start another one
I have too much to say but every word could be the last
And I tried but failed to save my future from the past
I have never programmed myself to be a broken man
I wished I could be loved
But every time I failed
It slowly ripped my life
I know it's over
And I did all that could to bring all my thoughts to life, show what they've put me through
And in sufferings I find sufferings; nothing more
As my body is growing cold I'm at a loss for words but I will tear them out of me
'Cause I can't left them untold
There's one last thing to say
That I'm finally used to emotional pain
I accepted the fact that I'll be all alone
There is nothing of mine in this life of my own
I don't know
Am I sleeping or am I just not alive?
I used to wake up in fear every night
There's no reason to find my place in this life
'Cause I am already going to die
And I spent one more day, and I spent one more month
One more year waiting for what will never comes
Self-defeated
Self-absorbed
Self-compassion, that left me dead on the floor
And in sufferings I find sufferings: nothing else
As my life has been laid to waste
All I see is death
All I feel is death
All I have is death