I met a girl called Ian She was a European I guess I wasn't seein' too straight I left my friends behind me I knew that they would find me I'm great, ya, ya, ya I met a girl called Phyllis She talked like Dobie Gillis And Willis Reed was her favorite Knick I told her she was gorgeous Heard all about the Bourges I'm sick, ya, ya, ya I never thought I was the king of my men I never wanted eleven Because I always got ten If I tell someone, do it over Then they do it again I never ever come on silly or odd I never liked the competition So I don't worship God I'm never stupid or mistaken Or a jerk or a clod, oh yeah I met a girl called Rifle She changed her name to Trifle Her life all bright And now with a 'T' We lay out in the garden I tried to beg her pardon I'm free, ya, ya, ya I never ever come on silly or odd I never liked the competition So I don't worship God I'm never stupid or mistaken Or a jerk or a clod I never laugh at you or sing mere O's I know you said nobody's perfect But I figure I'm close Somebody said I was a trifle verbose Yeah, I don't care I can do anything I want to Anytime I want to Anywhere I want to