I wish I had a foot-long cigarette I wish I had a foot-long cigarette If they made foot-long cigarettes Then I'd surely smoke less I wish I had a foot-long cigarette I wish I had a man to ease my mind I wish I had a man to ease my mind If I had a man to ease my mind Then I wouldn't write songs like this all the time Oh, it's so lonesome in my mind I wish I had a better way to pass the time I wish I had a better way to pass the time Maybe if I had no dimes to spend on silly things that I regret I'd find better ways to pass the time ♪ I wish I didn't do the things I do I wish I didn't do the things I do But if I were to stop my fun All this drinking and carrying on I think I'd grow to want the things I used to do I wish I wasn't always in my head I wish I wasn't always in my head If I'd stopped giving all my thoughts away Quit trying hard with things I say Maybe you could do some talking once instead And I wish this road wasn't half as long I wish this road wasn't half as long If I could cut it down to size Stop my mind from running dry