I cry alone in the night
So you don't have to see my tears
And I'm the most unstable when I'm controlled by my fears
I hate how my body is so I avoid these mirrors
And I'm not so happy, things aren't always as they appear
The fog is slowly gone and it's becoming all so clear
The version of my happy self is no longer near
Feeling this way for the entirety of a year
So I listen as the sadness whispers things in my ears
I rip myself away into a lonely, empty hole
And you take yourself away as I sell my whole soul
Digging into this depression like a crying little mole
I fall down an eternal fireman's pole
Driving on this road alone, it's already 3 a.m.
My headlights try their best to push through the dark I'm trapped in
But the ghosts of the past stand ahead my racing car
They creep and they haunt and keep my thoughts
And me from going all too far
My emotional comfort runs full out of gas
And I'm stuck here in the cold, wonder how long I can last
So I bang my head to get the demons out upon the shattered glass
Hoping I won't survive this mental bash
I hike down this path and arrive at the witch's alter
I bow and worship the sadness that has become my martyr
She whispers in my ear, "Why have you done this?"
"And what have you done?"
"Why couldn't you have made the right choice for once?"
So I scream and I sob, and I fall into this hole
My breath leaves my chest as I hit the worm filled soil
I see the stars and they tell me I don't deserve my soul
And let me tell you, it's real fucking hard
To get out of a hole when they take, when they take
When they take away your rope
They sell happiness all wrapped inside a pill
So I keep writing these poems
Just to feel something still
This can't be happening
No, this can't be real
When I condemned myself to this place
Myself I have sealed
So I sprint to the dark to shrivel up by myself
And I look at all these people
How we're all unkept
Secrets from my past come rising to the top
And one day I'll throw myself off the ledge in order to make it stop
And they sell joy all wrapped inside a pill
Our own unique character, our consumption will slowly kill
Just swallow it down before you break the rules too hard
And stay right there, stay inside your own backyard
I want to leave this place
And never return
I want to leave this place
Take my past and let it burn
I want to leave this place
And leave no rock unturned
Until one day I can make it stop
Yeah, I can make it stop