I guess I'll give this closure to myself
Now that you're closer to someone else
I've been thrown to the lowest shelf
Oh well
I guess, I mean, I wasn't so naive
As to believe that it would be
Like when we were a team
But it seemed
If only in my dreams that
We could
Transcend and
Make amends and
Stay friends
You know?
Like we said way back when but
Then again
I guess it's disappointing but no surprise
That your actions don't align
With the words you verbalize
And it hurt when I
Wished you guys
The time
Of your lives
And you did not reply
Which made me realize
That you will never be in my life again
Which got me wondering what the point is
If all the joy and poignance
Only turns into disappointment
Like shit, there goes two years down the toilet
I guess I used to think it was such a waste
When you would say that you erased
Every trace
Of your last mate's face
Like, shouldn't those dates
Have brought you to happy place?
Or were your relationships based in hate?
I used to contemplate
What that would say about our fate
I guess it's taken me ages to let go and
My age is starting to show
Everything that I don't know and
Away is the only place to throw
All this angst and woe
So
There goes two years worth of texts
My first worst and best and
All of our photos on the internet
There goes your family and friends and
The sexts I need not have kept
For they do not get me erect
There goes the emotional hiding and seeking
And you implying that I was cheating
And trying to sleep while I was already dreaming
There goes me being your best friend
But not someone you trust and
Talking to no end but never about us and
Those things that I said that kept your walls up
And you not knowing me at all
Fuck
When everything went under
I kept these things to not forget
All the little wonders
From when we met to when we left and
Now I'm deleting your number
Even though it's burned into my head and
Taking advice I gave to my brother
Saying that chapters were made to end and
I guess that's just life when lovers try to remain friends
So I guess this is it
I guess this marks the start of me embracing life without you
And not wondering what it was for and
I'm going to stop writing about you
Because my listeners are getting bored
But before that... thanks
For everything
For the good times that we had and
Even the bad
For those all turned me into who I currently am
And yeah, I tried my best
That's for damn sure and
You left all my questions unanswered and
I'd love to be able to say that I'll always be there for you
But are you?
You're just making it kinda hard to
And I don't wanna argue
But I was put in charge to answer these questions on my own
But I guess that's better still
Because at least now I know
That you never will