You know, the more I start thinking about it The less it even makes any sense at all And I just want to turn and run but It's too late, Because the director's calling action So, before I take my first step I realize that, I have to stop being someone whose ever seen the show And become a character on the show Become a man, from Cougar Town You know, someone born there, Someone who's name I decide is Chad And I take my first step as a child mind you, Learning to walk, as Chad And with each step it becomes easier And with each step, I start remembering things from Chad's life Like, his first kiss under the big tree, at Cougar Town Field Or playing soccer at Cougar Town Junior High Finding my first chest hair in the shower, My first apartment My first true love falling for my best friend Birthdays, weddings, car crashes, exes Playing charades at Thanksgiving Chad had lived, Jeff Chad had lived more than Abed He called cut, and the scene was over, But I wasn't ready to stop being Chad So I said to the director "Can we have one more take?" But they were already moving on, Courtney had nailed it I started trembling, my hands and my feet went numb My knees buckled, and I fell to the floor I pooped my pants