Biography

Have you ever considered the idea of a vase big enough for a human being? Imagine: a warehouse on an industrial estate at the very edges of the town in which you live - the sort of grim, dusty place no one would go without good reason. Picture yourself inside the dimly lit space, naked and oiled up, ready to climb into the 150cm tall glass container, the outside decorated with ornate floral details. You steady yourself at the top of the step ladder, aware of the increased danger olive oil on the soles of your feet can have on balance. You climb in and instantly come into bloom, displaying yourself like a bunch of flowers, the last six months have culminated in this moment and you look Outstanding. Your slippery skin pressed up to the glass like a vacuum packed turkey steak feels Outstanding. You chant the lyrics to the Dad’s Army theme and it sounds Outstanding. Consider this image for a moment. Consider the hoops you would need to jump through to reach this climax. What are the first steps you would need to take in order for such a thing to occur? Who would you call first? Scroll through your facebook friend list now - out of all the people you know, or used to know, who has the greatest chance of helping you get the ball rolling on this? That person is worth holding onto forever. Say their name out loud three times. Share this post and tag them in it otherwise you will never stop urinating when you next stand up.— Vignette No. 10